Monday, February 17, 2014

#baseballwifelife - t minus 2 weeks

Over the next two weeks we will wrap up our first off season as Mr. and Mrs. Brown. Another off season in the books and I am looking forward to taking on our first full season as husband and wife.  Baseball has this way of bringing people together that may not have connected otherwise.  For example, I recently had the chance to connect with Chelsea, whose husband plays with the Arizona Diamondbacks!  Funny story- D.J. and her hubby played together in a summer league before they got drafted and that's what started our conversation! She blogs over at The Minor League Picture and wrote the best MiLB Survival Guide. As she traveled last season with her husband, she has more experience in the "on location" wife than I do.  She inspired me to write a post more about how to survive Spring Training and the season from the ladies perspective if you don't plan on traveling with your husband/fiance/boyfriend.  Thanks so much to Hannah, Toni, Tiffany, Steelie, Jana, and Laura for all their help with this list! 


one. send care packages
Everyone loves to get a package in the mail.  Candy, snacks, gift cards for restaurants, new socks, pictures or whatever makes him feel like he is at home are all good things to include!

two. live by family and friends
Being close to my family and friends really makes it so much easier when you are living alone.  This is the first season I will be alone in our house and I have to admit, I am a little freaked out.  We just got the security system installed so that makes me feel better.  I don't think I could live alone if my parents were not a few blocks away.  When we bought the house, we knew that we wanted to be close to my parents for this exact reason.  Having family so close really makes the transition to being a pretend bachelorette again easy!

three. plan trips
 Having a countdown to seeing your man is awesome.  One tip though, don't start the countdown earlier than 15 days.  You will just get your hopes up too early and the time will go by too slow.  These planned trips are a perfect way to break up the season into different periods.  Sometimes when we are away from each other the time we get to be together really makes it so much more special.  On the other hand, it never hurts to have a spontaneous trip every now and then.  Especially if your man is close enough to drive.  I have heard horror stories of us ladies traveling across country for the weekend to see our men and then they get moved up right when you get there. Overall, if you are doing long distance for the season, any time that you have to see each other is better than no time.
Another thing to consider is booking another trip before you go home from the current trip you are on! This is a good way to make goodbye easier and have something to look forward to in the upcoming months!
Whenever you do have time together, make sure to embrace every little detail.  Notice what shirt he wears, the cologne he sprayed, or the way he holds your hand.  We get so used to using our phone to communicate with each other when we are apart that sometimes when we are together it's hard to put the phone down.  We always say "get out of the box".
Getting to see each other for 6 months out of the year makes each reunion like another honeymoon! So splurge whenever you do see each other.  Treat yourself to a nice dinner and a movie.  Do something you normally wouldn't do.  Make memories.   It may not be St. Lucia, but any place with your man is better than without him!

four. get a puppy
OK, now I know this is not ideal for most people, but it was perfect for us! We knew that getting Stryker was the next step for us since we were planning on not traveling together this season.  Only hard part was that I got Stryker in May when D.J. was still playing so he didn't get to see him as a puppy! Stryker really keeps me occupied during the season with walks, runs, beach dates, baths, dinner, etc!! I think that when D.J. leaves, he is going to miss Stryker more than he will miss me.  The two of them have gotten so close and I know Stryker will miss playing fetch with D because I cannot throw nearly as far as he can! I plan to take him to see his daddy as many times as I can this season! Coming home from work to an empty house is going to be hard, but seeing this little pups face is going to make it so much easier!

five. plan a wedding
Clearly I have already been in this situation last season, but this was a HUGE time occupier. We have a dear friend who is planning her wedding while her fiance is currently in Arizona and it reminded me how great it was to plan during the season! From cake tasting, to picking out invitations, wedding planning does not seem to slow down from the time you get engaged to the very last day! Sometimes having your fiance away during this time can get challenging.  For me, the only hard part was deciding on food (which happened to be the main thing D.J. cared about).  He could care less about the flowers and the cake tasting (conveniently I scheduled those all for when he was here so he had to come). If you want to marry a professional baseball player, you better envision your wedding between September and February because there is no way that Spring wedding is happening!
For more details on our wedding , click here!

six. plan facetime/skype dates
To think that less than 5 years ago, we didn't even have FaceTime is crazy! We should all be so thankful for the technology advancements over the past 5 years that allow us to see our loved ones anytime we want! Sometimes all we need is a little face-to-face to make the day go by easier.  Know that whenever you are free may not be the best time for him, so try and work together on a time that will work for both of you!

seven. learn how to communicate
I think we can all agree that the key to a good relationship is communication. This lifestyle makes it a little more challenging because often we are in different time zones or on different schedules and finding time to talk is hard. After games you may be thinking "time to talk to my hubby" when he could be thinking "all I want to do right now is put my Beats on and tune out the world".  Most people that I have asked have said that their relationship during the season gets stronger because they are separated.  It really makes the time together so much more special and allows couples to grow stronger in each others absence.  I could continue on about communication for a while, but I think everyone in this situation has about mastered the communications part.  If not, it will come with time!

eight. focus on the positives
When I asked the ladies on the MiLB Wives and Girlfriends Facebook page for some input on this blog post, I got feedback on things I had already included, but Steelie reminded me of something very important.  Focus on the positives.  When I first thought about this, I was focusing on the fact that D.J. is living his dream, getting better at baseball, being able to focus 100% of the time since I am not there. That is all true, but she was also referring to focus on MY positives.  While D.J. is gone I get to focus on myself.  I can stock the fridge with the food I want. I can go to the gym whenever works for me.  Focusing on the positives that I will be able to accomplish while it's just me will be great.

nine. surround yourself with people that "get it"
Over the past year, D.J. and I have gotten a lot of questions that I am sure many other baseball wives/gf/fiances get as well.
So how are y'all going to make this work?
What do you mean you aren't going to be living together?
Why even get married in the first place?
You bought a house but may not even settle down here?
It is crucial to surround yourself with people that "get it".  Trying to justify why you don't travel with your man is not fair.  It is only important that you and your man are on the same page and that whatever you decided to do (travel or not), it is what is best for you and your family.  People that do not get the lifestyle we live find it hard to understand why we do things the way we do.  It truly is one of the things that you don't understand until you are on the inside.  Although there are things I wish would be different, I would not trade this lifestyle for anything.  I know that one day down the line I will be able to travel with D.J. but for now, we plan to master this long distance minor league baseball lifestyle!


Thanks for reading the long post! Please leave any comments on what I forgot to include in ways that make the long season or any long distance relationship bearable!

1 comment:

  1. Love your perspective and attitude! Even though I travel most of the time, there are inevitably times that we are apart during the season and off season camps. These are great tips no matter how long you are apart. Thank you for posting!


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